If Arsenal Were A Car…

The Silly Season calls for some silly pieces and this is unquestionably one of them.

In among the unending tedium of transfer-related babble my mind began a-wandering.

I was thinking about Arsenal… and cars… and Arsenal… and cars… then… BOOM!

The two thought strands came together and made sweet honey in my mind.

“If Arsenal were a car,” I thought, “what kind of car would they be?” (I told you it was a boring day).

A few years ago (during the early Wenger period) the answer to that question would have been easy: something racy, sporty and French but with a sense of history, like a Citroen DS.

But today?

It’s tempting to lean towards a stately British icon like the Rolls Royce (under Herbert Chapman that probably would have worked) – but these days we don’t spend enough to be considered a ‘Rolls Royce’ type of club. A Land Rover maybe? But that makes you think of the wide open countryside, whereas Arsenal are very much an urban club.

We’re too grand to be a nippy little sports convertible; too stylish to be a ‘work horse’ like a Ford Escort van; too successful to be anything that comes cheap.